The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
