It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
