Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
