then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
