It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
