Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
