my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
