i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
