Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
