I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
we should paint friendship bongs
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