why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You don't make any sense
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