in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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