My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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