Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
