even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
