i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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