She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
