Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
