PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
