Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
