For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
