Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
