i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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