He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
