I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
