I will die if light touches me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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