I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Two words: blizzard sex
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
