gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
