Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
