if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
