Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
