Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
