if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
