We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
