make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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