So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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