After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
