Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
