New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
