I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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