I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
tell me about the fingering
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
