i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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