Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
