Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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