we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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