im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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