He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
someone owes me an orgasm
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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