Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
