Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
