Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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