As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
