So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
