some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
