So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize