I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i've created a new STD.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
