ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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