I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
