Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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