i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
there is glitter all over my balls
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