i just wanna soil my oats bro
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
