Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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