I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
